notcfootball.org

Okay, listen up:

Online gambling is NOT illegal in the United States. I hear a lot of people saying that it is, and using the UIGEA as proof. That’s just weak.

Forget that the UIGEA was a Republican trick slipped into a bill like a Mickey into a drink of patriotism (“oh noes, you voted AGAINST safe ports? You must be some kinda terrorist-lover!”). Forget that they dropped it at midnight right before an electrion, when all the sleepy little Congressmen and women were all like “okay I’ll sign whatever lets just get it done and go home”.

What it ACTUALLY says is that a bank can’t do business with an evil illegal offshore gambling company. Not sure what that has to do with safe ports or terrorism but I guess the possibility of money laundering makes a little bit of sense, if you want to look at it like that.

The problem is that the UIGEA doesn’t actually bother to say what makes an online gambling company legal or illegal. Maybe that’s what they were going to put in, except that they knew that they were getting voted out soon so they had to rush it (GW Bush: “Oh noes, I’m a lame duck. Take that, online casino USA!).

It makes it even trickier that some states have some laws, and some don’t, and they’re all pretty much ten or twenty years behind the times, and the laws were pretty vague to begin with. Just to make sure, you should type in the name of your state and something like “gambling laws” into a web search and find out for sure before you deposit any money.

Even some of the better online gambling sites will use this mess to screw you out of your money; you’ll win a bunch of money on sports bets or online slots or something, and they’ll be all like “oops, you’re from a restricted location” and if you’re lucky you’ll get your deposit back…but that’s it. Sucks to be you. You should have listened to us in the first place. Your mom did.